I don't know if I've ever needed someone like I need someone now.. I cried the entire car ride home. I begged God, like I always do when I'm this depressed, to help me, send me someone..
I'm trying everything I know, messaging people I haven't talked to in ages.
I tried to text mandie, but it wouldn't let me. I tried sending a message to her phone...
I'm so alone..
I got onto the highway going 70 and drove at one of those cement pillar things, but chickened out in the end.
Don't try and call me, my cell phone got shut off. They do that when you neglect to pay it... Dad will have to wait, I'm going to have to put all of this weekends money into it.
Then the paycheck on Friday gets saved for my new landlords... Then whatever is left over goes to food, and the remaining to DAd.
Damn it all to hell, I have enough money to do this, everything just happens at once...
I'm going to get something to eat then cut myself now. I wish I could cut on my arm, but then my manager would see that.. I don't want anyone to see...
I've got all these red scars on my chest, they've been there since Mandie and I broke up...
I don't think they're going to go away, especially because I was really mean to one of them.
I kept tearing the scab and new skin out, for at least a month, before it finally healed despite my efforts.