I'm really enjoying this book far more than I thought I would... I even got the second one. It's like.. this girl actually understands what I'm going through. It's supposed to be a true story, but I don't know if I believe that or not... who knows. Either way, the description of hte feelings is so similar... so nice to not feel alone. Having all those things you want to scream out but just smiling and saying everything is fine... knowing that no one could really love you. That when they say they do they just think that they do... or they just love the things you do for them, or the way you make them feel. All the shadows of emotions and the gray and being unable to wake up sometimes...It's very nice. Also.. the memories of things that just feel like dreams now... like htey never really were.
I like my new car.. but I think that Dawn resents me for it. I could see it in her carefully guarded eyes... that she's older than me and is higher rank at our workplace, she should be the one with a nice car. But she also has a family to support.. I just support me.