does it ever get better?

same shit different year... as my mother used to say.
Feelings of sadness... emptiness... loss... being lost... confusion.
Boredom, and fear.
I wish that Josh would go home so that Deb could stay the night with me.
It's sad... it would just be nice to not be alone, if only for a little while.
But then when she's here, I sometimes wish I was alone so that I could cry...
That's me, never happy with what I have.