I was thinking tonight.. as I always do when I deliver. (I don't know if so much thinking is good or bad for me...)
I think that the point of my life.. of this life (if you believe in more than one) for me is to learn how to be happy with what I do have...
I always tell myself "If I could have a family I'd be happy.." or "If I could be certain my car is fine I would be happy.." but there's always something I'm missing.. and I don't think it's something I can obtain on the outside.
I think I need to find my sense of security in myself... figure out how to be happy with where I am.

I'm pretty sure I'm right... it's just so damn hard.
I lay here at night and I cry and I cry and I don't know how to stop.. I tell myself over and over that life isn't so bad, that it's okay. That I have nothing to be depressed about... but I always find something.
I can't stop the thoughts...