i am nothing

I feel ashamed again.
Mandie is just now reading my e-mails, and reading them all at once she'll see how often I switch my feelings.. I'm so incredibly ashamed.
I'm so weird.. so crazy. I can't control it very much anymore.
I was screaming at myself in the car again today...
Wow, I shut down really fast this time. My feelings just... stopped.
I feel nothing.. nothing seems worth saying.
My hands feel so far away..