Fuck holidays

Bad day.. very very bad day.. it's like I just can't control it.
Halloween makes me think of Tyler and that makes me incredibyl depressed. Everything went wrong.. My dadand I were supposed to go out to eat, the german place I had been looking forward to was closed and then he started crying cause he couldn't stop thinking about Tyler either so he just went home.. Lots of litle things went wrong.. Dawn helped a bit. I got drunk, cut a little bit, then she knocked on my door and asked me to go to Wal-Mart with her. I did, and I enjoyed her company immensely. It was fun, I rode the bike she got Joe through the parking lot and we both laughed when I nearly busted ass.
Went to sleept around 11 because I just couldn't take being awake anymore.. woke up at 4am... going to try to go back to sleep but it doesn't seem likely.. I hate this.